Wow - I'm tired! This week is the kid's school vacation & for some crazy reason when 1 kid has a play date I usually find another play date for the other kid. So - I had two 6 year old boys and two 7 year old boys over here today. WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!?!? :)
Oh - that's right - I was thinking that they would all entertain themselves and I'd be able to get some stuff done around the house. Um.... yeah..... right....
Well, to be fair, they were actually really good. As in VERY good!!!! Must be us mothers (and fathers!) are doing something right! :) And I did clean the fridge out!
So, lately I've heard the words "you've inspired me" by several people. One person is someone who joined Weight Watchers because of my good successes. And she's really struggling. I feel so bad for her, and I'm encouraging her as much as possible, but I'm starting to believe that there is a right time and a wrong time to try to lose weight. I know, I know.... it seems like any time should be the right time - it's a health thing, right? But sometimes I think it's too easy to will yourself to fail when you've got too much on your plate. Everything in your life that is unmanageable takes center stage above & beyond your weight loss. It's almost like you have to hit rock bottom, or have some crappy life event thrown your way, before you can actually lose weight successfully. Almost as an alcoholic or addict has to hit rock bottom before they can (or will!) admit that their life is unmanageable, and they need help. I truly think it's the same way for weight loss.
I think that this desperation leads to intensity & focus like you've never EVER had before!!!! I think about losing weight 24/7. I don't think that I'm obsessing over it in an unhealthy way AT ALL - but I feel like an animal on the plains of Africa. I have this incredible focus & intensity about weight loss that a gazelle does that senses a predator close by. The minute (well, maybe sometimes the day after) I feel out of control about my eating I rein it in, focus, and move forward. Beating myself up about something I can't change serves no purpose except to derail my weight loss. These times are when it would be incredibly easy to say 'the hell with it - I hogged out so I can't do this - I might as well keep eating'. Times before I had this focus & intensity that is exactly what I would have said & done. But not this time. NO WAY! This is WAY too important to me!!! I ate too much today and I know it. I'm not freaking out about it. I'm almost halfway through my 'weight watchers week' and I still have 31 weekly points left. So I'm good! I would love to keep eating, but I'm chewing gum instead and when I finish blogging I'm flossing & brushing my fangs. That always keeps me from eating!
For those of you that know me and my breast cancer story I've also been an inspiration in other ways - not just with this weight loss. After my double mastectomy I started thinking about what I was going to do when it was time for me to feed my babies. I was 31 and freaking out!!!! I did not want to formula feed!!!! This was definitely a rock bottom in my life - for sure! But, a lot of positives came out of it. I found out about milk banks & put up a website to ask for money to buy milk from the milk banks. It was EXPENSIVE ($3.25 / ounce at the time) and it would have been over $17,000 to feed my baby human breast milk for 6 months. WOW!!!! Along with donations of money I started getting offers of donor milk. At first I said no. I'm a scientist & I knew of the diseases that could be transmitted through breast milk, but after some research (and speaking with my doctor) I started accepting donated milk. I got so much that Grayson only had 1 week of formula for his first year. He self weaned at exactly a year and then started drinking cow's milk. When I got pregnant with Preston there was absolutely no question - I would definitely do the same for him! I had so much milk donated for him that he NEVER had formula and he self weaned at about 15 months! My story went nationwide! I was in People magazine, on CNN, on Good Morning America, in the Wall Street Journal, The Burlington Free Press, The Union Leader, etc.... This was a big deal! The best article was actually written by the Air Force! http://www.af.mil/news/story.asp?storyID=123006359 I got a LOT of positive responses and one woman even started her own milk sharing website (www.milkshare.com). On the bottom of her first page it states: "Kelley was first inspired by Jennifer Connel, a Massachusetts mom who sought to solely breastfeed her children after a double mastectomy. Jenn has successfully provided breastmilk for her two sons through their first year of life and beyond." (BTW - I used to be Jenn Connel and I used to live in Mass. Now I'm Jenn Buker and I live in Vermont.) Someday I'll write a book about all of this - I promise.
So - Inspiration. That is what I'm finding is what I have needed in order to jump start my weight loss again. My kids inspire me. I don't want to be a fat mom! That wouldn't be fun for them and it sure as HELL wouldn't be fun for me!!! If you read yesterday's blog then you'll know that my friend, Paula Traynor, has also been a big inspiration to me. And something REALLY fun is that *I* am being an inspiration to me too!!!! I have lost over 50 lbs! That is a HUGE deal - pardon the pun.... I AM AMAZING!!!!! :) To anyone that I can inspire - that is awesome! Take it and RUN with it baby!!!!
Breakfast:
3 blueberry banana pancakes & 1 banana pancake made with 1 t. mini chocolate chips (11 PP)
1 T. maple syrup (1 PP)
Jenn's Coffee (2 PP - it was weak. Gotta' make it stronger in the morning!)
Lunch:
1 1/2 c. arugula, 1 1/2 c. spring mix, 1/2 c. pea shoots (all 3 are 0 PP), 1 oz. gouda (3 PP), 3 1/2 oz. t-bone steak (8 PP), 3 oz. ground beef (grass fed, very lean 3 PP), 1 T. maple syrup mixed with 1 T. balsamic vinaigrette glaze (1 PP)
1/4 serving Mac 'n Cheese (1 PP + 10 squats!)
Dinner:
3 oz. pork loin (4 PP)
1/2 serving Mac 'n Cheese (4 PP)
Snacks:
1/2 serving cheese crackers (2 PP + 20 squats)
2 oz. Pork Loin (3 PP - had to taste it, it had just come out of the oven + 10 squats!)
2 clementines (0 PP)
Total PointsPlus for the day: 43
So, I ate too much meat today. I had no chocolate and really not many snacks - but the snacks I chose weren't all very healthy (Mac 'n Cheese?!?!!?). I need to drink water when I'm hungry for a snack and see where that leads me.....
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