Beating myself up......

So - I had a very good week, or so I thought, and then last night I TOTALLY hogged out on Chocolate Chip Cookies!!!!!  WTF?!?!?!??!  In fact, yesterday afternoon I was down doing laundry and took a peek in my freezer to plan dinner for the next night and I spotted THEM...... my desire..... my love.....  MINT SKINNY COW ICE CREAM SANDWICHES!!!!!!  Ahhhhh...... the ecstasy... I even felt my heart rate increase.  I took one out of the package, had it in between my lips, and then I said to myself - 'Self, if you eat this then you'll have to do at LEAST 50 squats AND you'll have to track it.  You're having T-bone for dinner, and you're making some sort of Weight Watchers dessert to share with your family.  PUT THE SANDWICH BACK!!!"  AND I DID!!!!!  I mean - my lips were ALMOST touching the sandwich part and I put it back in the package and walked away!  THAT ROCKED!!!!

Well, THEN I made the mistake of going to my parent's house without snacks - and I got HUNGRY!  I didn't stop and try to find something healthy to eat - I ended up going outside and split wood with my Dad for about 30 minutes.  Then I sat around chatting with Mom, Dad, Ali & Gramma and continued to get hungry.  By the time I got home it was beyond the point of no return and I STARTED SNACKING!!!!!  I ate pasta from the chicken noodle soup I was mixing up for my boys, I ate chocolate covered almonds & chocolate covered cherries.  Then, as I was getting the boys ready for bed, I started mixing up chocolate chip cookies (modified from my original recipe with oat flour & oats - so KIND of healthy, right???  Yeah - right.....).  Once that was mixed up I started eating it.  I freakin' LOVE raw cookie dough!  WHY IN THE HELL DID I MAKE IT!??!?!?!?!?  If I hadn't made it I wouldn't have been eating it!  ARGH!!!!!!

So, AFTER pigging out on chocolate chip cookie dough I ATE DINNER!  I LOVE the bones of T-bones (weird - I know) so I weighed my 2 bones, gnawed the meat off of it (I at least picked the fat off - I didn't use to!), then I weighed my bones.  NOT a good way to do it because I ended up eating SIX ounces of T-bone!  That is TWO servings of meat!  THEN, after I ate my dinner I ate ANOTHER cookie - but this one was cooked.  SO - I calculated that I ate FOUR FREAKIN' COOKIE - SIXTEEN POINTS!  Dammit.  Friday night is my last night of my weekly cycle, and I went over by EIGHT POINTS!  So - didn't lose any weight, but didn't GAIN any either!  I'm the same as last week.  159.4.  Damn.

What did I learn from this????  FEED MY MOUTH BEFORE I GET HUNGRY!!!!!  I need to carry fruit with me or a healthy snack.  I need to grab that AND a big glass of water before I give myself a chance to make unhealthy choices.....

Oh - so I ended up doing over 50 squats - I lost count after a while.  Then I did a bunch of abs and played around with my Swiss ball for a few hours.  In fact - I bounced on the Swiss ball so much that my family was BEGGING me to stop!  (We were playing Trivial Pursuit and apparently I am obnoxious & distracting when I'm bouncing.  REALLY????  hee hee)

So, today is a new day.  I can't beat myself up too much - I am only human.  I just need to learn from my mistakes and move forward!  :)  The power went out last night, so this is a night late in being posted.  After I eat dinner I'll blog again!  I'm a blogger, ya' know!  :)

2/18 Food Log:
Breakfast:
     Jenn's Oatmeal (made with 1/2 c. quick oats instead of a ready made packet and decreased milk to 1 T. of 1% organic milk - ups PP to 5)
     Jenn's coffee (2 PP)

Lunch:
     5 oz. tuna made with 2 t. light mayo & 1/4 c. chopped jalapenos (5 PP)
     1 oz. chocolate covered cherries (3)

Snacks:
     6 chocolate covered almonds (3 PP)
     4 Chocolate chips cookies (as dough & 1 cooked) (16 PP - AIGH!!!!)
     2 oz. cooked pasta (2 PP)

Dinner:
     6 oz. T-bone (11 PP)
     1 artichoke (0 PP)
     1 T. light mayo (1 PP)

Total PointsPlus for the day:  FORTY-FREAKIN' EIGHT!!!!!  Hrmph.....